I recently came across this article titled “11 Habits of People With Concealed Depression”. I thought of myself and many conversations I’ve had with “involved” students of the kinds of the students that seem to have every aspect of their life together and be good at everything. So let’s go through some of my favorite points.
1. They may intentionally make efforts to appear OK and maybe even seem exponentially happy and upbeat.
Definitely resonates. I don’t think I do this intentionally, but when I do I think it fools me as much as other people. Sometimes I’ll be very unhappy / depressed at night and then the next day people comment on how upbeat I seem. Maybe it’s natural coping. Idk.
2. They may have habitual remedies.
I think this is my way of “getting over” depression. I can tell when I haven’t worked out in a few days. I get depressed. My habitual remedy would be working out / running. From the article, “anything they know can get themselves out of a sinking set of emotions. Concealed depression has a lot to do with the ways people try to personally conquer their own demons.” Guilty.
3. They may have trouble with abandonment.
I…can’t think of a time when this applies to my own life, but I can’t really say anyone has ever abandoned me. I’ve gotten good at pivoting between friend groups if one friendship seems to be dying down. However, I think I may be guilty of this. There have been times when I’ve gotten to know someone a little bit and mentally thought that person would drag my already sometimes delicate psyche down, and therefore begun kind of avoiding them. People say you’re the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so I don’t want one of those people to be mentally / emotionally unstable; what if they rub off on me?!
5. They may have abnormal sleeping and eating habits.
Yup. This was me in high school / early college. I now strive to have a more normal sleep schedule, because I found it does help me “conquer” depression. Also, I’ve found that 90% of the time, depression hits me at night. I used to dwell on it / get emotional / stay up late, but now I try to force myself to go to sleep with the mindset “I’ll feel better in the morning” (which I always do).
9. They are often searching for a purpose.
I think this applies to most college students. “They may become incredibly involved in the pursuit of true happiness. They are also striving and searching for more.”Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” I don’t see this as a bad thing (although I guess you could go overboard); it’s something that motivates me.
10. They at some times will release subtle cries for help.
What comes to mind is VULNERABILITY. Again, I don’t entirely see this as cries for help, but being vulnerable and authentic. Most of my friends know I’ve been minority depressed in the past / still sometimes now. I’m open about it because I know deep down a lot of them have had these feelings too.
11. They seek love and acceptance, as every person does.
But like why am I still single? 😉
If I could add a 12, it would be something along the lines of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). One reason I want to move to a warmer climate is that warm air / sun has a really positive impact on my mood. I love when the days are longer and I can go running outside. It’s therapeutic / I guess as close to spirituality as I come.
I feel like I should go back and edit this, but I’m both out of time for today, and part of me likes that I haven’t edited it because I think in editing it I would take out some of the vulnerability. Sorry if some of the things don’t make sense :). GOING TO WORKOUT NOW (see #2).